THIS MAN I CALL HUSBAND.

01.03.14

{Thanks for the picture Kaylie}

Has it really been two whole weeks already? And I seem to love him more and more everyday. Amazing how that can happen, huh?

Well, normally I'm a pretty private person when it comes to my life being on the internet, so this post is going to be a bit different than anything I've ever done before {other than it being my first blog post ever}, so bear with me. I'm opening up about what has been "our" life for about the last month or so. I'm not doing this to receive pity or charity from anyone; so don't think for a second that's the nature of this post. Instead, it is to honor that incredibly handsome man standing next to me in the photo. That man, who when two weeks ago made me the luckiest woman alive by making me his wife, had no idea of the trials he had coming his way.

Many of you won't know this, but about 2-3ish weeks before our wedding I started having seizures. The doctors {up until yesterday... more on that later} believed they were psychological seizures that are triggered by stress or possibly even the daily migraines I get. They scheduled me for all sorts of tests to try and help us determine what kind of seizure we are dealing with, and put me on a prescription medication called Topamax, this is most commonly used for in the treatment of neurological seizures and migraines. The doctor warned that this medication would either improve my moods greatly {awesome} or cause them to get much worse {not so awesome}. Of course my body decided to choose the later reaction. I became an emotional roller coaster, becoming aggressive and emotionless all at the same time. But Chase has proven to me time and time over the true meaning of...

unconditional love.

He never ceases to amaze me with his patience and understanding or his ability to take a walk in my shoes and see things from my perspective. I have truly hit the jackpot and found the most wonderful man on earth. I have no idea how I got so lucky, but I will eternally be thankful to have him in my life and to be able to wake up to him each and every morning. He's been my rock through this crazy adventure so far, and I know I wouldn't be able to continue on it without him. He is always there to hold me through my seizures, whispering words of love and encouragement in my ear until my body has decided it's time to stop. He is always there when I need to call him, whether he is at school, work, or to get a pep talk, so that I feel like I can continue on with my day. He is always there when I need my best friend to just sit and say nothing, but just merely be there next to me when I don't feel like being alone, but I don't quite feel like doing or saying anything either. 

He is the best, and he is all mine. 

Yesterday we went back to neurologist to get a couple more tests done as well as go over all the test results thus far with him. The doctor is now thinking they might be more along the lines of neurological seizures, not psychological like we've been thinking up to this point. But we still have no answers and are merely seeking treatment off of possibilities through trial and error. I also found out this week that my driver's license has been revoked and it is illegal for me to drive until I go 90 days without a seizure. In the words of my doctor, "It doesn't matter if you have a seizure on day 89, you roll back to 0 and start back over. 90 days is 90 days." {Just to clarify, I haven't been driving up to this point. My sweet mother has been driving me to all my appointments, school, work, etc. but there is a huge difference in willingly doing that in order to be safe for yourself and others and being told you aren't allowed to do it.}With Chase by my side as my support group I know we will get through this and we will be stronger than ever because of it. 

I just wanted to end with one of my favorite pictures I use as a wallpaper on my phone that helps me get through any hard time. I found it on Pinterest, but the original source is from a blog you can find here. No matter how hard life gets, there is always something to be thankful for.

I consider Chase to be my greatest blessing.

xoxo 

Carlie